Dealing with grief and loss
Methods to cope and heal
How do you deal with grief after losing a loved one? The grieving process is different for everyone and there are no hard and fast rules that will always make things easier. In this article, I share some methods I use to help process loss and to help heal in a healthy manner.
Don’t stifle your tears.
Letting yourself cry can be a very healing experience. According to Harvard Health, crying can serve not only to release pent up emotions, but it can also provide us with health benefits (ancient Grecians said crying helped to “drain off and purify” ourselves). I know that I usually always feel better after a good cry – it’s pent up emotion that needs to be let out. Stifling tears can be as uncomfortable for me as trying not to sneeze when the urge is intense, or not scratching an itch, even. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you need to cry (regardless of gender – everyone cries, and that’s okay). It is human to cry.
Print and frame or hang photos.
Having images of your loved one around your house could help keep your memories of them fresh and could help you reflect upon the joyful times you spent with that individual. When my Grandma passed, it was extremely difficult for me as she was the last of my grandparents that I knew (my Grandpa Stanley died before I was born). I never was able to delete her number from my phone (her picture is associated with it in my contacts), so she’s still there, listed as a favorite. Just seeing her name and face in my phone is enough to give me a sense of comfort as I’m fondly reminded of who she was.
Talk to friends, family, or a support group.
Having a listening ear is so important in the grieving process. It can help to find a friend who knew the person or pet that you lost to join you in sharing memories about them. You might want to talk about things they enjoyed doing, or maybe music that reminds you of them. What about that person/pet made them special? What kind of mark did they leave on your life? Maybe the two of you used to watch a movie together and you think of them every time you hear a quote from the movie, or see that actor somewhere else. Cherish those memories, and let them continue to live on in your heart every time you’re reminded of their presence.
Write about them in a diary or journal.
For some, just the feeling of pen on paper can feel cathartic. Allowing yourself to get your feelings out by writing what you’re feeling, and how your feelings change throughout the day and week, and be very helpful. It may be too much to keep everything inside your head, especially if you haven’t spoken to anyone about the loss. Journaling and writing in a diary can help you organize your thoughts in a soothing way.
Organize a gathering in their memory.
You are likely not alone in your grief. Planning and organizing a gathering with friends or family that knew the individual can be a healthy way to process the loss and to honor their memory. Maybe prepare their favorite foods, or have their favorite drink (and toast to them). Sometimes, attending a viewing or a memorial isn’t quite enough. Having a separate, smaller gathering with your close loved ones can make a big difference.
Make sure you’re getting enough sleep
Getting enough sleep can be very tricky, especially if you have a family or work several jobs. Taking care of yourself after a loss is so crucial, and getting ample sleep is an absolute must. If you need to take quick naps during the day just to recoup your energy, do it. Dealing with grief can be extremely taxing on our bodies, so it’s important that we listen to them and allow for rest whenever possible. (Note: Drinking caffeine does not count when you are trying to recoup lost sleep.)
Do you know of any methods to heal and grieve that I missed? How do you deal with grief in a healthy way?
